i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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