Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
