shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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