so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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