I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
