that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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