Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Well I just put wine in my tea
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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