It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I didn't notice because vodka
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
