i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
