I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
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I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
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He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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