Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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