he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
