New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
