The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
