life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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