11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We're too hungover to prance.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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