i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
