Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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