I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
