She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
