I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
