So drunk its hurt
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I can't put those talents on a resume
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
