Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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