this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
