somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I enjoy the company of your penis
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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