pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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