I puked a lego.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
