the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
