just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
