you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
