The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
