marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
