You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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