Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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