The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
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There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
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YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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