Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize