Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
