You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
