Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.Â
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
