I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
