I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
