your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
