Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize