drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
