yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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