Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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