Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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