its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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