no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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