We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
