I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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