There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
