You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
This beer is not sobering me up at all
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
