on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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