Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Randomize
