somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
