Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
