please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
