she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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