he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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