have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
