I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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