Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
