I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
