I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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