Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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